Great Uncle Gary’s Big Barn

This barn sits adjacent to what used to be my Uncle Gary and Aunt Katie’s property in eastern Oregon near Wallowa. Uncle Gary had built this big ol’ barn himself and he and Aunt Katie owned it until they were both too old to be able to properly maintain it and the property. I remember going outside on the first day that we’d visited and just staring at this huge structure and being amazed at the thought of my uncle building it himself. Even now I look at this photo and sit thinking about how much planning and how many hours must have gone into building such a large structure manually. It’s old and tattered, but it’s beautiful because it’s a project completed and a big (literally) achievement.

Uncle Gary was a seemingly stern man, but as I grew up I realized that he was a kind and gentle man who was simply very devout in his faith and “old-fashioned” in his values and how he thought the world should work. He expected people to treat each other with a certain level of decency and respect and he thought that they should present themselves with a certain amount of decorum. And when folks didn’t live up to his standards, he had no problem in speaking his mind about how the person could do better. Uncle Gary was proud of me and always kind to me in every visit I’d had with him as I grew up, but I always sensed that there was something he was holding back from telling me.

Actively dying of a terminal illness changes one’s view about what is and isn’t important to say to others, even when the commentary is on sensitive topics. On this visit with Uncle Gary, he’d decided that the time had come to be straightforward with me about his concerns. He worried about my health—I wasn’t eating right and from what my Dad had told him, I certainly wasn’t keeping good hours and getting enough sleep. He worried that I was severely underemployed and urged me to seek out new opportunities. He was right, on both accounts. I was a young woman who didn’t yet see the need to take the time to take care of my body and mind and the jobs I’d had since college that paid the bills were just that…jobs that paid the bills. They weren’t opportunities for learning and growth, personally or professionally.

While the conversation may have been somewhat uncomfortable for both of us, it was beneficial. It seemed to give Uncle Gary a sense of peace saying his piece. And, while I’d already been planning on taking a giant leap of faith in myself and leave Oregon to find new and better opportunities professionally, it gave me comfort to know that he thought I could do better, too.